Silence Observance to Overcome Abuse
Since a child, I found the corners of life more interesting than the centre. The centre always felt spongy where people saw the easy parts of life, hid their emotions and not many swam in the deep waters of life. I found life confusing.
At the age of 12, I became excited about classical music, documentaries and serious people watching. As a result, I didn`t have many friends who with me explored the meaning of life, in-depth philosophies, emotional growth, and the wonders of nature.
People watching came out of my struggles to make sense of the pain and confusion of being raised by mentally challenged parents. In observing others, I learnt to discern reality from fiction. Only when in my 30`s did I understand the abuse came out of my parent’s inabilities to cope. They looked normal, acted normal in other people`s company. My parents were loved by so many.
I think being an empath caused perplexities not understandable as a child (as well into my adulthood). The lenses of my glasses continually changed colours – why and because of whom.
My being bullied began in elementary school and ended when I graduated high school. Grades 11 and 12 I didn`t speak. I watched, listened and made sense of the world around me.
I cannot remember how many life stories I`ve heard over my years. Blessed with a listening ear and a presence that invites trust, persons familiar and those just met, share their lives with me. At bus stops, in shops, in libraries, at work and other common and uncommon environments. When I travell I’ve been invited to ‘just met’ people’s homes for a meal, to join them on their walks, and more.
Hearing about new job opportunities because they were on the streets for so long, they thought they’d never get work again, where they come from to what brought them here, about how their families changed, affect their lives to a Catholic nun buying me lunch. She spoke of her life on the reservations in upper British Columbia. How this affected her even in her retirement.
People are fascinating for countless reasons. The stories come from children to grandparents to professionals to others. Regardless of their station in life, their job seniority and even peoples mental capacity (autism, brain injuries, etc.) I hear them too. I’ve never recorded their stories on paper but to memory (most), but I’m sure now I’ve shared a 100 people’s lives onwards. I am blessed.
As well as all the lives I have helped in 40 years, I have on occasion had people yell at me, tell me off, challenge my insights and ‘you cannot just say that’ and judge my abilities harshly. While knowing where the emotions and thoughts come from, doesn’t make it easy to hear on occasion.
Practising a non-dualistic life doesn’t make it stress-free. (If unfamiliar with this term it means I life live more than just black or white. I experience a scale of complexities, a neutral, even equilibrium of somewhere in the middle, as well as take nothing personally.)
When I have insights into people’s lives, actions, reactions it at times triggers a visceral response of ‘Oh my gosh this is truly what’s happened, or I feel so stupid not to have seen this before’.
An example: I client of 63 years told me she couldn’t do a handstand because her back was not stable. Though I said that in evaluating her, I found her back muscles were incredibly strong and flexible. She responded by yelling I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know anything. In explaining my evaluation, I found out that her Chiropractor and GP had evaluated her that week with a ‘False Positive’. Told 20 years earlier she had weak back muscles and spine. She exercised safely building her flexibility and strengths since then. Her trusted ‘professionals’ agist did not fathom she had, in fact, a fully mobile spine and strong back. She apologised. I suggestion was to find new doctors.
When our long-held beliefs are challenged (with verification to the contrary) our mind and emotion may have a delayed acceptance (sometimes not at all). When I question or bring to light the opposite of what you know, share my insights it can be a jolt. I usually receive a subdued response until absorbed, excitement and or ‘that explains it’.